How Do I Support A Neighbor or Friend Who Is in Hospice?
Provide Emotional Support
One of the best ways you can support a dying friend is by providing emotional support. There may be times when your friend doesn’t want to speak or needs to rest, but you can stay with them, hold their hand, or spend some quiet time together. Simply having a friend with you when you’re in hospice care is supportive. When you visit them, sit down and be in the moment instead of standing in the room. Listen to what they have to say, their stories, and offer a listening ear to their grief processing. Listen without judgment and allow them space to share without shame or fear. Facing death can cause people to let go of their inhibitions and be truthful in new ways.
Giving Practical Support To Your Friend
If your friend is receiving hospice services in their home, offer to make them dinner and stay for the evening. Providing practical support in this way is an act of love and provides caregiver support for their family members. Going to your friend’s home and offering help with practical tasks can mean the world to them. The friends who can help us fold laundry, cook, clean, and handle other daily tasks provide a deeper level of support. Providing practical help doesn’t have to be fully hands-on or restricted to certain times. Sometimes busy schedules don’t allow us to be flexible, but running errands, organizing meal trains, and meal prepping can all be done on our own time. When offering practical assistance with daily tasks, always call ahead to ensure you’re not interrupting another visit from family or hospice care staff. While it’s easy to fall into a new routine helping out a close friend, be sure to take breaks and don’t overwork yourself. Caregivers often overlook their own needs and become exhausted, which doesn’t help anyone in the end.
Processing Grief Together
Navigating grief is a long and often difficult process. We rarely reach out for help when a friend is dying; most people seek help from support groups, mentors, and spiritual leaders after the loss of their friend. Grief begins when we come to terms with the inevitable loss of life. When a loved one is in hospice care, we know they are no longer seeking treatment for their illness. Coming to terms with their eventual death is difficult. By processing the end of their life together, you can help each other. Through conversation and time together, you can acknowledge and validate each other’s feelings. Patients with terminal cancer or other terminal illnesses sometimes feel obligated to hide their pain from loved ones. By offering comfort, you can create a space of authenticity, giving them a chance to be honest and confront their feelings. As you process the loss of life together, consider seeking out grief counseling. Being guided through the process of grief will help you confront the feelings with your friend or loved one. Processing your grief together is a unique experience that can be done in many ways. Sharing memories, listening to stories, providing help, and simply having fun together can all guide you both through the grief.
Sharing and Listening
One of the beautiful parts about spending time with a loved one in hospice care is the conversations we get to have. Conversations and topics during this time are often more vulnerable and honest, allowing friends and patients to be authentic about their feelings and experiences. Spend time truly listening to what the patient has to say. Listen to their stories, thoughts, fears, and anything else they share with you during this time. Share your own memories and stories that you share from past times in your life. There will be times to discuss serious topics and times to laugh at the absurd parts of life.
Helpful Tips Being with A Friend in Hospice
It’s common for us to see friends and family visit patients once or twice during hospice and then not return. We believe it’s important that patients have regular communication with people they love and care about. Regularly visiting enriches the patient’s life during their final chapter, and often is seen as a rewarding experience for the visitors to have additional time with their loved one. When seeing a hospice patient, speak with them in the same ways you always have. Don’t change your tone to be extra cheery or somber. Be patient and be in the moment when you’re visiting a friend in hospice care. Our personal time is one of the greatest gifts we can give a friend who is facing death.
Offer Respite for Primary Caregivers
Primary caregivers may be working their job while providing at-home hospice care, which frequently leads to exhaustion. Offering primary caregivers the chance to rest and even confront their grief is a gift for everyone. Depending on your availability and relationships, this can look different for everyone. You can stay with the patient for several hours while family members simply go get coffee, watch a movie, or take part in other leisurely activities. You may spend an entire weekend with the patient while their family goes away for a wedding or other important event. When in hospice care, patients often see their loved ones become distressed over ensuring the patient is well taken care of. There are many different reasons for this, including a need for control, guilt, fear, and a desire to provide for their loved one before death. It’s important that they take time for respite and momentarily focus on their own life. Being a primary caregiver can be exhausting, so offering to give family members a break can truly make a significant difference.
Bayou City Hospice Care Services
Bayou City Hospice offers hospice care services in the Greater Houston Area. Our services include short-term respite care, inpatient hospice care, long-term continuous care, bereavement services, and more. Bayou City Hospice is a locally owned and operated hospice care business. We have built strong relationships throughout the medical community in and around Houston. We are proud to have a staff of strong and caring professionals who work daily to improve the quality of life of our patients. If you are looking for hospice care services for a loved one, contact us today and begin the conversation.